Click here to read Part 1.
In
the past couple years, I've discovered some tricks for coping with
PTSD that have made life a little more bearable. Feel free to pick
and choose what works for you.
1.)
Know your triggers, and take reasonable measures to avoid them.
After
developing a serious allergy to shellfish, I realized it's the
perfect analogy for thinking about coping with PTSD. For whatever
reason, my body cannot respond to shellfish “normally.” If I eat
shellfish, my mouth will go numb and my lips will puff up like
Chinese dessert biscuits. Since I know that is how I will react, I
don't eat shellfish, or any food that might have come into contact
with it.
The
same rule applies to PTSD. Ask yourself what triggers flashbacks or
anxiety attacks. Some triggers, like movies that remind you of the
incident, can be avoided to some extent. This is a huge trigger for
me. Before watching a new movie, I go on IMDB and take a look at the
parental content advisory. Depending on the movie, I either won't
watch it at all or I will skip the part I know will cause a trigger.
Knowing it's coming is a huge help.
2.)
If you can't avoid a trigger, make a plan and stick to it.
Triggers
that can't be avoided can be a bit more challenging. Going to the
eye doctor and the dentist are torture for me. But it's a part of
life, and a part of taking charge of my overall preventative care.
So I make every effort to get through those experiences as
comfortably as possible. I request nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for
EVERY dental appointment, even checkups. I bring my Ipod and listen
to relaxing music. People with extremely incapacitating PTSD might
opt for full sedation or anesthesia. But those options are not
without their medical risks, not to mention astronomical costs, and
I'm at the point where the nitrous oxide and my music are enough for
routine exams and minor dental work.
Going
to the eye doctor is tougher because obviously I have to be fully
awake. It's never a fun experience, but it's more bearable if you
have a good relationship with your eye doctor. Be specific about how
they can help you get through it. I ask my eye doctor to move very
slowly if she has to get close to my eyes or head, and to talk me
through the whole thing. If you have trouble with sudden movements
close to your head, don't even attempt the “air puff” test for
glaucoma. Find an eye doctor who doesn't use it. When you call to
make your appointment, double check that your clinic hasn't started
using it. If they refuse to do one of the other less invasive (and
more reliable) glaucoma tests, change clinics. I'm serious.
If
you have PTSD, you've been through enough already.
3.)
Know your physical/psychological signs of panic attacks and
flashbacks and how to respond.
With
my shellfish allergy, I know I have to pop the Benadryl when my mouth
starts going numb. At that point I still have enough oxygen and
mental capacity to get the Benadryl before it gets worse. It's the
same with the PTSD. I have this odd sense of “impending doom”
when I'm about to have a panic attack or flashback. I don't know how
else to explain it. At that point, I am usually still “there”
enough to know it's coming and to communicate what I need if someone
is with me. Even if I can't spit out a sentence, I usually get a few
words out and throw in a gesture or two if I act fast enough.
4.)
Ditch people who won't even try to understand the situation.
Surround yourself with people who get it. Don't be afraid to tell
them what you need.
If
you have PTSD, you have lived through hell on earth. You need to do
yourself a huge favor and stop wasting time with people who just make
you more miserable. People who do not have PTSD don't have a grid
for it. You need to surround yourself with people who are brave
enough to accept this. Just like I wouldn't waste my time with
someone who makes fun of me for having to avoid shellfish, I'm not
going to waste my time with someone who doesn't try to understand why
I have to check movie content ahead of time even though I'm an adult.
I am so lucky to have a husband who is amazingly supportive. By now
he's seen it all, and is pretty good at reading me and figuring out
what I need even if I'm too far gone to speak.
These
posts barely scratch the surface of what it's like to live with PTSD
or love someone who lives with it. I will write more posts on the
different facets of the subject as I'm emotionally able. Please bear
with me if they wind up being few and far between. Hopefully this
will be useful to someone somewhere!
