On The Road With Hearing Loss

One of the questions I get asked the most about having hearing loss is, “How can you drive?” I got my license late, for a variety of reasons, none of which had anything to do with my hearing loss. But people still ask. For a long time, this question made me angry, because it seems like a stupid question to me. But I realized that it's not a stupid question for hearing people. So rather than get frustrated, I'm going to pipe down and actually answer the question.

The simple answer is, I drive just like anyone else. I did not get my license until after I became hard of hearing, so I don't know any different. I cannot hear sirens until they are right behind me, but I realized I developed the habit of frequently glancing in my rearview mirror, so I usually see them coming ahead of time. I stay in the right lane as much as possible so I can pull over quickly if I don't see it in advance, but that doesn't usually happen.

I listen to music just like anyone else. I can barely hear classical when I'm in my car, so I tend to gravitate toward other genres.

I keep a notepad in my car so I can have police officers write things down if I don't understand them. I also carry a hearing loss alert card in my wallet. I have yet to be pulled over, but if that ever happens, I will hand it to the police officer along with my license and registration. If you have hearing loss and get in an accident or get pulled over, it's very important for the cops to know that you are deaf or hard of hearing. They need to know that if you don't respond, it's because you can't hear them, not because you are intoxicated or injured. If you have recently developed hearing loss, I highly recommend getting a hearing loss alert card. Your local DMV or Department of Human Services should be able to tell you where to get one. If you have a cochlear implant, you should wear a medical alert bracelet or necklace stating that you cannot have an MRI, unless you know for a fact that your CI model is recent enough to be MRI-compatible.

So yeah, that's my two cents on hearing loss and driving!

Hearing Loss and Romantic Relationships

I just completed a survey on hearing loss and relationships, and I realized I have a few things to say about this, so I'm doing a blog post about it.

In one sense, dating relationships are no different than any other relationship. Just like with non-romantic relationships, you will get a lot further if you are honest about your needs and communicate them in a constructive way. Since communication is especially paramount for dating relationships, it's important to be honest about your communication needs with your significant other. And since technology is improving every day, wireless communication is getting a lot easier and more affordable for the deaf and hard of hearing population.

I have chatted with a lot of deaf and hard of hearing people about relationships (romantic or otherwise), and I've come to the following conclusion: Hearing loss does not cause relational conflict. It's a symptom that something deeper is wrong. When both parties have effective communication, hearing loss is an inconvenience at most. If your significant other is constantly being inconsiderate of your communication/accessibility needs, that's not a sign that they have problems with your hearing loss. That's a sign of selfishness, woundedness or any number of problems that have nothing to do with your hearing loss.

I know this sounds so simple, but honestly, I think it really IS that simple.

Tips for Navigating Social Situations With Hearing Loss

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

I wanted to take a few minutes and write about that oh-so-lovely intersection of hearing loss and social situations. I've gained a lot of self-confidence in this area, especially over the past several months, and I know I'm not the only person who's struggled with it. While this is by no means an exhaustive list, here are the things that have made social situations a lot easier for me. (As is the case with everything I write about hearing loss and hearing aids, I have no authority on wearing a cochlear implant, so CI users will have to be the judge of whether or not this information is useful.)

1.) Make sure your hearing aids are good quality and correctly programmed, and make sure you wear them all the time. I can't emphasize this enough. When I got my first pair of aids about 4 and a half years ago, I only wore them when I went out of the house for fear of wasting the batteries. The end result of that was my brain didn't adjust to them as much as it could have, and I didn't hear as well as I could have. Wearing your hearing aids consistently will help you hear better in noisier situations like restaurants and parties.

2.) Wear hearing aids that have a background noise filter. These days, most hearing aids have at least one channel that filters out at least some background noise. Don't even try to get through noisy situations without it. If you aren't sure how to access that channel, talk with your audiologist.

3.) Be discerning about when to advocate for yourself and when to avoid conflict. This has been a huge issue for me. I used to participate in a lot of Bible studies that were video-based with small group discussions, and it was always a toss-up whether the instructors would let my group meet in a quiet place or turn on the captions (or let me do it.) When I developed the habit of emailing instructors ahead of time to explain my situation, some of them told me right off the bat that they weren't going to accommodate my needs for one BS reason or another.

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying we should never stick up for our needs or try to work things out. But I've wasted a lot of energy on selfish, stubborn people who just wouldn't budge. You have to know when it's worth fighting and when it's not. This is especially important if you have any kind of anxiety or mental health issues on top of hearing loss.

4.) Be up front in a matter-of-fact way. Depending on the situation, I might say something like, “I'm hard of hearing, so please face me when you talk. If I don't respond, I'm not ignoring you, I just didn't hear you.” My hearing loss does not affect my speech all that much, and my head scarves cover my hearing aids, so my hearing loss tends to go unnoticed by people unless I say something. I've wasted so much time being angry at other people and thinking it was their responsibility to make sure they could communicate with me. But they can't when I don't ask! Once I started communicating my needs in a constructive way, most people were more than happy to oblige.

5.) Try to be specific in asking for repetition. This shows the other person that you are genuinely trying to understand. Saying “What?” is rude and vague. “Could you repeat that?” Works when I've missed a sentence or two. But if I caught part of a sentence, the most effective way to ask for repetition is to repeat what I've heard, and pinpoint what I didn't. For example, “I'm sorry, you did what last Tuesday?”

6.) When playing board or card games, keep your communication needs in mind. With games making a comeback, it's important to think about how your hearing loss might affect things. If I'm going to be at a party or someplace with lots of background noise, I don't bother with games like Catch Phrase, where the whole game is based on verbal communication. I save those for quieter settings. I stick with games that involve little or no verbal communication. For games that involve minimal communication, like Set or BS, I'll sometimes come up with signs or gestures to use for those words. It's a handy tool even if you don't sign otherwise.

7.) Don't waste your time with people who don't “get it.” I kind of touched on this earlier, but it's important. Most people will “get it” if you tell them what you need in a constructive way. But this world is not a perfect place, and there will always be people who don't get it. You don't need them. You are a wonderful, ordinary, normal person who just happens to wear hearing aids. If someone else repeatedly does not try to understand that, that's their funeral.

I think that's about it! I'm going to be pretty busy until after the 1^st, so I'll talk with you all in 2014! Have a happy and safe new year!

CC, OC, SDH, and Subtitles: What's the Difference?

For the longest time, I would admittedly get frustrated with hearing people if they didn't understand why I needed captions, or how to tell if a DVD is captioned or subtitled. But then I saw the light and realized I spent more time talking about my frustration than I did educating people on the issue. (This actually pertains to a LOT of aspects of being HOH in the hearing world, not just captions!) So I decided I'm going to start blogging about these subjects as they come up. I guess you could call this the unofficial, blogging version of “Hearing Loss For Dummies.”

Closed Captioning and Open Captioning are both coded through the television monitor as opposed to the DVD player. Closed Captioning is white text enclosed in a black box. Open Captioning is white text that is not enclosed. The DVD program on my computer uses OC, whereas my television set uses CC. The one disadvantage of OC is it can be hard to see if the background is lighter. CC is much more common, probably for that reason.

You turn on the captions through your TV's menu. Since everyone's TV is different, a tutorial on how to turn on the captions would be pretty pointless. If you're starting to develop hearing loss and want to start using captions, take a look at the instruction manual for your TV. If you didn't keep it, you can probably find instructions online. Once you turn the captions on, they will stay turned on unless you manually turn them back off. When your TV is in CC mode, captions will go on automatically for DVDs, shows, and commercials that are captioned.

SDH (Subtitles for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing): SDH is coded through the DVD player instead of the TV. It looks a lot like Open Captions. The text is usually white, but sometimes it's yellow. DVD's that don't have CC usually have SDH. Some have both. If I have a choice, I choose CC because, again, it gives you more contrast against lighter backgrounds.

Subtitles: The huge difference between subtitles and captions or SDH is what's in the text. The intention of subtitles is to make a movie accessible to a hearing person who speaks a different language. Often, they are not word-for-word, and they don't have sound effects that a person with hearing loss might miss, such as a knock at the door, a scream off-stage, etc. I'll use subtitles in a pinch when there are no other options, but they are not the same thing as captions or SDH.

How to tell if a DVD has captions or SDH: The CC or SDH icon will be on the back or spine of the DVD case. The “CC” is usually encased in a little TV symbol or a thick square. The “SDH” letters are sometimes in a box, but usually they're just by themselves. They often have an asterisk with the explanation of “subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing” at the bottom of the case.

If you've ever watched a movie with me, you've seen me check the DVD case to make sure it's captioned. This is what I'm looking for.

The legislation regarding what has to be captioned is a bit complicated. I'll have to do more research and go into more details in another post. But here's the short version: In the US, movies produced for entertainment purposes need to have CC or SDH by law. Special features do not. Documentaries also are not required to have captions. PBS puts captions on all their stuff, thankfully. Needless to say, the lack of captions on non-PBS documentaries made college a living nightmare!

If you have any other questions, please feel free to leave a comment! :)

20/20 Hearing? Not So Much

Recently I wrote up a list of common misconceptions about hearing loss.  I forgot about another big one, which I’m going to address right now: “Wearing hearing aids will give you ‘20/20 hearing.’ “

For awhile it really irritated me that people believed this, but now I can understand why some people think that’s how it works.  After all, eyeglasses and contacts correct most people’s vision to 20/20, or at least close enough to 20/20 that they don’t feel visually impaired when wearing their glasses or contacts.  If glasses can help people see “normally”, then it should stand to reason that hearing aids can help people hear “normally.”

How well a person hears with hearing aids or a cochlear implant (or two) really varies.  Some people do hear quite well with their aids or cochlear, and therefore don’t feel all that “impaired.”  But some people, while receiving some benefit from their aids or CI, still don’t hear very well, and might still struggle with background noise and talking on the phone and whatnot.  So if you see a person with hearing aids or a cochlear implant, don’t assume that they can hear and understand everything, because they might not be able to.

Are Two Aids Better Than One?

Hearing people and those who are newly diagnosed with hearing loss often wonder if they really need two hearing aids.  I’ve had so many people say to me, “hearing aids are so expensive!  I just want to buy one!”

I hate to burst everyone’s bubble, but the truth is, if you have bilateral hearing loss, wearing one hearing aid is going to be about as effective as wearing one contact lens.  Anyone who wears contacts knows you need to wear two lenses or your vision doesn’t appear corrected.  Just like eyes, the ears are designed to work as a team.  You can buy just one hearing aid, but you won’t feel like you’re getting your money’s worth if you have hearing loss in your other ear.  I’ve had a few unfortunate hearing aid casualties that have resulted in having to wear one aid until I could get the other replaced, and let me tell you, that was a beast.  I actually got a lot of headaches because everything sounded so “unbalanced.”

So if you have bilateral hearing loss, save yourself the frustration and just get two right off the bat. 

Buying Hearing Aids Online

 I recently bought a new pair of hearing aids online.  As I expected, several well-intentioned people questioned the safety and the efficacy of that choice, so I decided to do a blog entry about it.

Buying my hearing aids from Lloyd Hearing Aid saved a ton of money as well as time.  You take a hearing test online with headphones or earbuds, and they can program your hearing aids according to that audiogram.

In my opinion, buying hearing aids online is a perfectly viable option for people who have had their hearing loss formally diagnosed by an audiologist, have used at least one pair of hearing aids, and know how to read an audiogram.  I felt good about the decision to purchase my new aids online because I fit this criteria.  I could have had my old hearing aids reprogrammed, but they were having some problems and I wanted a pair that could use rechargeable batteries, so I took the plunge and got new ones.  I’m so glad I did!  (I’ll be doing another post on my new hearing aids for anyone who’s interested.)

I absolutely do NOT advocate ordering hearing aids online if you have never had your hearing loss formally diagnosed.  If you already use hearing aids but are experiencing sudden severe or profound hearing loss as a result of illness or injury, I would get that checked out before ordering new hearing aids.

Listening to Music With Hearing Aids

I’m trying to come out of the hearing loss closet, both because it’s a part of who I am and because these entries might be useful to someone else with hearing loss. 

One of the questions I get asked the most is how do I listen to music with hearing aids.  When my hearing loss was more mild, I would just take my hearing aids out and use regular old earbuds.  Now that my hearing loss is creeping into the moderate range, earbuds don’t work as well.  I can hear through them, but not very clearly, and I can’t make out any lyrics at all.  When I listen to music through my hearing aids, the sound is much clearer and crisper, and I can usually understand at least some of the lyrics.

If you want to have music on in the background and not use your hearing aids as earbuds, you can simply leave your hearing aids on your normal channel, or if your aids have a music program, you can use that.  My current hearing aids don’t have a music channel, but I’m about to get new ones, which will have it.  I’ll let you know what I think of it once I’ve given it the old college try J. 

There are a few different options for using your hearing aids as earbuds.  I’ve used a neck loop for the past few years.  A neck loop is an FM transmitting system that plugs into the headphone jack of a computer, CD player, or MP3 device.  The top part goes around your neck (thus the term “neck loop.”)  You turn on the neck loop, put your hearing aids on the tele-coil channel, and you can hear the music right in your ears at your decibel level.  I learned from experience that the sound quality diminishes with the battery life, so I own two sets of rechargables that are only for my neck loop, and I change them out when it starts sounding “static-y.” 

Cochlear implant wearer Rachel Chaikoff has done a blog entry on listening to music with cochlear implants. The only one she mentions that won’t work for hearing aids is using regular earbuds.  I don’t know how you’d get them to stay put if you wear hearing aids.  Rachel has tried more listening options than I have, so if you want to try something other than the neck loop, click here to read her take on it!

10 Most Common Misconceptions About Hearing Loss

 I haven’t written much about hearing loss on this blog for a number of reasons, but I’ve been feeling led to be more open about it.  I’m going to start by listing the most common misconceptions I encounter on a regular basis. 

1.)  Either you’re hearing or you’re deaf, and there’s no in-between.

There is actually quite a bit of in-between.  A person with normal hearing will hear any sound that’s 20 decibels or higher.  A profoundly deaf person will hear at 90 decibels or higher, if they can hear anything at all.  That leaves quite a bit of in-between. 

2.)  “You must have selective hearing, because you hear just fine in some situations.”

I hear much better when it’s dead quiet.  If I am on the phone with a woman and my hearing aid is working well and there’s no background noise, you wouldn’t know I’m hard of hearing.  If there’s background noise or I’m talking to a man on the phone, it’s much more difficult. 

3.)  Deaf and hard of hearing people can’t/shouldn’t drive or go on airplanes.

This one cracks me up.  “How can you drive?” is, hands down, the question I get asked the most.  For the life of me, I don’t know why hearing people have this idea that D/HH people cannot drive cars.  I didn’t get my license until after my hearing loss was detected, so when it comes to driving I don’t know any different.  I’ve had a few people point out that I glance in the rearview mirror quite frequently while I’m driving.  I suppose that’s my way of checking for lights and sirens.  I can’t hear sirens until they’re right next to me, with or without my hearing aids.  But again, I have no experience driving as a hearing person, so this just feels normal to me.

Flying doesn’t feel any different either.  I’ve had hearing people ask if my aids give me trouble going through security, and the answer is no.  I have flown twice by myself after developing hearing loss, and I’ve gone through security without any problems.  The only thing is you have to keep your hearing aids on an acoustic channel, because they’d probably buzz if you have them on t-coil while going through the machines.  I imagine the t-coil channel would also buzz while you’re on the airplane, so if you use your t-coil channel for a neck loop to listen to music, you’d have to look into a different option.  But these are all little things.  In the grand scheme of things, deaf and hard of hearing people fly the same way as everyone else.

4.)  “You can’t possibly be hard of hearing because you don’t ‘sound deaf’.”

Whether or not a hearing loss affects a person’s speech depends on a few factors.  It depends partly on the severity of their hearing loss. It also depends on the age of onset.  A person who is born deaf or hard of hearing is more likely to “sound deaf” because they have never heard their own voice clearly.  I didn’t start losing my hearing until I was a teenager.  By that point I had a strong background in spoken English.  A few people have asked me if the fact that I read a ton has anything to do with how well I can speak.  I honestly don’t know.  But speaking clearly doesn’t mean I always hear clearly.

5.)  “You can’t take care of kids as well as a hearing person.”

I sure as heck can!  I will definitely need a few extra tricks when/if I become a parent, such as a flashing or vibrating baby monitor.  But that’s not a big deal.  When I worked in toddler classrooms, if I wasn’t sure of what a toddler was saying, I would say clearly, “Can you show me?”  This usually prompted them to gesture or point at things, and then I could figure it out from there.  When/if I have my own kids, they will grow up using sign as a second language to make communication easier.

6.)  People with hearing loss can’t listen to or play music.

Tell that to Beethoven, haha!  Or tell that to Evelyn Glennie, a profoundly deaf percussionist!  Neither of them were born deaf, which I’m sure made music a lot easier for them.  But it’s just not true that deaf and hard of hearing people can’t enjoy or create music.  Nowadays there are numerous options for listening to music with hearing aids and cochlear implants.  I use a neck loop, which I’ll write more about in a future post.  I was very involved in music before I started losing my hearing, and I still am.  I play flute, piano, guitar, and mountain dulcimer.  It’s getting more difficult to tune by ear, so I have a tuning app on my Ipod.  I’ll readily admit that I may not hear music exactly the same way as a hearing person, but I still hear something that I can enjoy. 

7.)  All deaf people use sign language.

There are plenty of profoundly deaf people who use little to no sign.  Some deaf people grew up completely oral, and others chose to go that route as they got older. 

8.)  All deaf cochlear implant recipients use speech only.

Deaf people of all walks of life make the decision to get a cochlear implant.  While it’s a popular option amongst oral deaf people, there are some culturally Deaf people who choose it so they have the option of being in the hearing world as well as the Deaf world.  Even though they may choose to learn to speak, they typically don’t stop signing.  Some people subscribe to the viewpoint that ASL is a good “backup” in case the cochlear implant processor malfunctions, because CI users are completely deaf once they take off the processor.

9.)  Congenital deafness and old age are the only causes of hearing loss.

While those are probably the two most common causes of hearing loss, there are lots of other causes that have nothing to do with how young or old a person is.  My hearing loss was probably the result of recurring ear infections when I was a kid.  Other kinds of illness and injuries can also cause hearing loss. 

10.)    People with hearing loss can’t live “normal” lives.

Sure, we may need some accommodations, but when our needs our met, we can do anything!  Except hear normally ;)

Ask Kati: Headcovering and Hearing Aids

Q: Do you have any advice for fellow hearing aid wearers who want to cover?  Do the hearing aids ever cause problems?

A:  If you wear hearing aids, stay away from prayer caps.  I had a lot of issues when I wore them.  They wouldn't stay on unless I tied them.  I'd have to untie and re-tie them every time I needed to adjust my aids.  In the winter, when I wore two caps for warmth, this became an even bigger hassle.  I didn't have any problems when I switched to scarves.  I could wear two or even three and I'd still be able to pull back the fabric to adjust as necessary.  I don't wear my aids while I'm tying a scarf.  I put them on after.  If you choose to put them on, turn them off until you're done, because the scarf will sound loud! ;)

The main thing to keep in mind when wearing a scarf over hearing aids is the tightness of the fabric.  Don't wrap the scarf too tightly over your head, or it will be very difficult to pull back the fabric when you need to adjust your aids.  I've also been asked if I can comfortably have my ears out of the scarf.  It's perfectly comfortable, but on days I'm wearing glasses, it looks and feels kind of bulky, so I don't recommend having your ears out if you wear glasses. 

I imagine these tips would also work for cochlear implants.  I don't have one, so I can't say for sure, but I imagine it'd be best to put the processor on beforehand and wear the magnet under the scarf.