Why I Left The Group “Christians for Biblical Equality”

I used to belong to a Facebook group called “Christians for Biblical Equality”, which is an extension of a larger organization with the same name. After several months of participating in discussions and reading the articles people posted, I made the decision to leave CBE.

If you didn't know me, you might assume I made that decision because I've become ultra-conservative and I don't believe women should ever have any leadership roles in the church. That couldn't be any further from the truth. I didn't leave the group because I don't believe in equality. I left the group because I believe in equality wholeheartedly, and I did not find true equality in CBE.

If you tell someone they have to dress immodestly and show their hair because “this isn't the 50's”, you are not promoting equality. Whether you realize it or not, you are promoting the lies of our male-dominated, hyper-sexualized society. If you tell a woman that they cannot stay home or make the decision to work part-time in the interest of balancing work and life, you are not promoting feminism or liberation. If anything, you are promoting the opposite. Forcing all women into the workplace is just as oppressive as forcing all of them to stay home.

Another reason I left the group was because a lot of people in the group had extremely anti-Semitic attitudes. I found this out when I mentioned that Jewish teachings on modesty and head covering carry more merit for me than Christian teachings.  I could not believe the ridiculous stereotypes that some Christians believe about Jews and Judaism. Without Judaism, there would be no Christianity, so my patience for anti-Semitism within the church/Christian subculture is nonexistent.

If you're reading this and you're a Christian who believes in equality, do yourself (and everyone else) a huge favor: Leave the CBE group if you're in it, and do some soul searching and some research and learn about true equality. It will change your life!

Three Little Words That Christians Can't Bring Themselves to Say

If there's one thing kids love to do, it's ask questions. Kids want to know how things work, and why they work the way they do. If I can answer questions honestly, I don't hesitate to do so. But sometimes kids ask more complicated questions, and the honest answer is “I don't know.”

Why are those three little words taboo amongst adults? Why do we insist on fabricating explanations for things when we haven't the faintest idea why people are injured or killed in car accidents, or why women miscarry, or why people get cancer when they have healthy lifestyles?

Recently I had a conversation with a twelve-year-old girl who wanted to know why people are always shooting each other and why isn't anyone doing anything to stop this? I sighed from the depths of my being, looked her in the eye, and said, “I don't know, kiddo. I don't have an answer that will satisfy either one of us.”

As someone who didn't grow up going to church, and as someone who is getting more and more disillusioned with westernized Christianity, I can tell you why more and more people are leaving churches. Church is no longer a safe place to ask honest questions or say “I don't know.”

Identity Theft

For the past year or so, I have been growing more and more disgusted with the westernized church. In that time frame, my negative experiences with professing Christians have far outnumbered the positive ones. There are many problems plaguing the western church, and I will write about them as G-d gives me the words. The problem I want to talk about right now is identity theft.

No, I'm not talking about credit card theft. I'm talking about spiritual identity theft. For most of my Christian life, I have wanted to throw up whenever someone told me I needed to “get rooted in my identity in Christ.” I always thought that was because I was battling spiritual warfare, and once I got through that, I would find my identity in Christ and we'd all live happily ever after. I soon realized, however, that my problem was not that I didn't know who I was in Christ. My problem was that many of my fellow believers thought my identity belonged to them. “Getting rooted in my identity in Christ” was usually a euphemism for “Attend this group you don't have time or energy for. Take on this service project even if it makes you dead tired. Read this book. If you don't want/can't afford said book right now, I will question your salvation and your desire to know G-d.” As I've become progressively Messianic in my spirituality, “You need to get rooted in your identity in Christ” has become a euphemism for, “If you knew who you were in Christ, you wouldn't be so obsessed with Judaism.”

Spiritual identity theft is growing for a number of reasons. A big reason is fear. I see more fear inside the church than outside it these days. Christians simply don't trust anymore. We've become so afraid of sin that we think the only way to get a handle on it is to take away everyone else's free will and individuality. Another reason that kind of goes along with that is negativity. Christians focus more on what not to do than on what to do. And this hyper-focus on negativity is leading to micro-managing other people's spiritual lives in areas that might not be as simple and black-and white as we'd like to believe.

There are certainly times to ask for and give advice. But we need to give advice without snatching people's dignity. When people give us advice, we need to filter it through Scripture and the Holy Spirit and discern how to apply that advice in a way that works for our lives and our true, G-d-given identities. We need to approach the subject of identity in such a way that we do not commit identity theft.

My Two Cents On “I Left My Religion” Memoirs

I'm in an interesting season right now. I am undergoing a LOT of changes in my life, both logistically and spiritually. I'll write more about all that once I know which end of me is up.

Lately I've been drawn to memoirs written by people who made significant changes in their belief system, whether that meant joining a religion or leaving one. I think that's because I understand where people on both sides are coming from. Joining or leaving a religion is a big decision, and if you're going about it wisely, it's not something that happens overnight.

I don't have an opinion on the genre as a whole, for the record. I can't say I like or hate all “I left my religion” memoirs any more than I could say I love or hate all fiction books. I've read some memoirs that are very gracious and well-written, and others where the author clearly meant it as an attack on their previous religion and the people who still believe in it.

There are two important things we have to understand about “I Left My Religion” memoirs:

1.) Those of us who joined a religion later on in life are in the same boat, in a way, because we traded in one belief system for another. Even if you did not “grow up religious”, you grew up with a set of beliefs about the world. If you joined a different religion, you probably rejected at least some of the beliefs you grew up with. If you are spiritually healthy, your beliefs will evolve over time, even if they don't drastically change. So I would caution anyone who has issues with “I left my religion” memoirs in general not to turn it into an “us versus them” thing.

2.) Whether or not an “I left my religion” memoir is positive or not depends on who the author claims is responsible for their wounds. The more negative authors tend to blame their ex-religion as a whole, as opposed to naming abusive behaviors and situations such as mind control, abuse, and cults. These are situations that can happen in any belief system, and it's possible to call them for what they are without attacking a specific religion or particular people.

Feel free to share your experience with “I left my religion” memoirs or “I joined a different religion” memoirs! I've love to hear what you all have to say!