Ask Kati: "Are you Conservative?"

I get this question a lot and it's a fair question, considering that I'm somewhat egaliatarian-ish and support “common sense” feminism, yet cover my hair and hardly ever wear pants anymore.

It depends on what you mean by “conservative.” In this instance people can either mean politically conservative culturally conservative, or theologically conservative. Since these are three very different things, my answer has three parts.

Politically, I definitely do not identify as conservative. I guess you could say I'm a moderate. I think liberals are right about some things, conservatives are right about others, and on other points both are right or both are wrong. I think we lose out on a lot when we care more about parties than about particular candidates and issues. But I really hate blogging about politics so I'm going to stop there.

Culturally, I suppose you could say I'm fairly conservative. Taking my husband's name when I got married meant a lot to me. I would much rather be referred to as “Mrs.” than “Ms.” because I am happily married and I'm not ashamed of that. Even before I became a Christian, I didn't think pre-marital sex was a smart idea, especially for teenagers. I'm not going to go so far as to say teenagers should never date. That being said, I'm also not going to encourage my teenagers to date in high school, for a number of reasons. Modesty has become pretty meaningful to me in the last couple of years. I wear long skirts almost all the time, and I have covered my head full-time for over two years. I don't think it's incompatible with feminism. If anything is incompatible with feminism, it's succumbing to societal pressures to flaunt everything you've got.

You could also say I'm theologically conservative, although this one is a little more complicated. I'm theologically conservative in the sense that I believe the Bible to be the only religious text that is fully true and free of error. (And for the record, I don't deny that there are some issues in translating Hebrew and Greek into English. The more I learn about those cultures and languages, the more I realize how much we lose trying to translate it into English. But that doesn't negate the truth of the Bible.) Every Christian has their own definition of “theologically conservative”, so I will have to elaborate more about my definition in a different post, but that is the gist of it. 

I love answering questions like this!  If there's anything you'd like to ask please leave it in the comments section and I'll do a post about it! 

Ask Kati: Headcovering and Hearing Aids

Q: Do you have any advice for fellow hearing aid wearers who want to cover?  Do the hearing aids ever cause problems?

A:  If you wear hearing aids, stay away from prayer caps.  I had a lot of issues when I wore them.  They wouldn't stay on unless I tied them.  I'd have to untie and re-tie them every time I needed to adjust my aids.  In the winter, when I wore two caps for warmth, this became an even bigger hassle.  I didn't have any problems when I switched to scarves.  I could wear two or even three and I'd still be able to pull back the fabric to adjust as necessary.  I don't wear my aids while I'm tying a scarf.  I put them on after.  If you choose to put them on, turn them off until you're done, because the scarf will sound loud! ;)

The main thing to keep in mind when wearing a scarf over hearing aids is the tightness of the fabric.  Don't wrap the scarf too tightly over your head, or it will be very difficult to pull back the fabric when you need to adjust your aids.  I've also been asked if I can comfortably have my ears out of the scarf.  It's perfectly comfortable, but on days I'm wearing glasses, it looks and feels kind of bulky, so I don't recommend having your ears out if you wear glasses. 

I imagine these tips would also work for cochlear implants.  I don't have one, so I can't say for sure, but I imagine it'd be best to put the processor on beforehand and wear the magnet under the scarf.

Ask Kati: DIY Tichels?

Q: Have you ever tried making your own tichels?  Got any advice for people who want to try making their own?

A:  I have yet to make my own tichels, mostly because it's cheaper to buy them and I'm on a tight-ish budget right now.  I'm also afraid that I wouldn't be able to sew on fabric that thin without snagging it.  The fabric is the main thing to consider if you want to make your own tichels.  You'll want a very thin fabric, something like organdy or a silk blend.   If anyone out there decides to make their own, please let me know how it goes and if you have any more tips! :)

Ask Kati: How can you be a headcovering feminist?

Ask Kati: How can you call yourself a feminist if you cover your head and wear modest clothes?

This is one of the questions I get asked the most, and I think it comes from a lack of understanding of what feminism really is. One of the not-so-good things that came out of the women's rights movement was the idea that you couldn't be feminine and feminist.  But true feminism, or more accurately, healthy feminism is more about choice than about femininity or gender roles.  I refer to this kind of feminism as "common sense feminism."  It is common sense that men and women should receive equal pay for equal work.  It is common sense that both men and women should be free to choose whether they want to enter the workforce or be a homemaker.  This idea of everyone having choices is a separate issue from the concept of gender roles.

The movie "Persepolis" gives an account of what life was like in Iran after the Islamic Revolution in the 1970s.  Women were required to wear veils whenever they went out in public.  Anyone looking at the situation would say that this was oppressive because it robbed women of their right to choose their own clothes and interact freely with males. 

I have been told numerous times that I "shouldn't" cover my hair or dress modestly because I have the freedom to do otherwise.  It's true that I am free to dress how I please and interact with the opposite sex in any manner I choose.  This is how I am choosing to exercise that freedom.  If I am in a situation where I "have" to leave my hair uncovered, I feel very exposed and uncomfortable because I feel as if my choice is being taken away from me.  If I want to share my body with one man in the context of a marital relationship, I should be as free to do that as other women are to have multiple partners.  If I decide that my hair is something I want to save for my husband's eyes only, then I should be free to do so.  To tell me I "can't" or "shouldn't" live my life that way is as ridiculous as making all women wear veils and penalizing them for talking with opposite-sex friends in public. 

Ask Kati: Headcovering Q and A's

In answering the Ask Kati questions, I am trying to stay away from long lists of FAQ's, because I know those can be daunting to try to get through.  But I decided to make an exception in addressing the subject of headcovering, because there are a few questions that I get asked a lot, and it seemed a lot simpler to put all those questions and answers in one place.  After all, simplicity is the name of the game here ;).

Alright, here we go!

Q: Why do you cover your head?
A: The simplest answer is, I cover because I believe God wants me to.  That was my only reason when I started out.  The longer I do it, the more I see other reasons to do it, and not all the reasons are blatantly spiritual.  One reason I continue to cover my head is it acts as a protest against the hair product industry.  Most hair products contain toxic chemicals.  Plus, there are more important things than making sure my hair looks good.

Q: What kind of covering do you wear?
A:  When I started out, I wore a prayer cap that I had crocheted.  Then I progressed to cloth prayer caps that I had sewn.  I recently switched to scarves and kerchiefs simply because I wear hearing aids, and it drove me crazy untying and re-tying the cap every time I had to adjust my aids.  I would like to try veils once my hair is long enough. 

Q: How often do you wear a headcovering?
A:  At first I only wore prayer caps to church.  After a couple months or so, I began covering my head most of the time.  I don't wear a covering when I'm sleeping.  The few times I've forgotten to take it off when I laid down for a nap, I had taken it off in my sleep, so I don't bother sleeping in it.

Q: Don't people stare?
A:  I got a few stares with the prayer caps, but I got used to it pretty quickly.  To be honest, the scarves draw a lot less attention.  But people didn't really stare as much as you might think.  Most people are pretty self-absorbed.

Q: How do you deal with headcovering issues at work?
A:  This question always makes me smile, since it was issues at work that led to my changing direction and going plain!  I don't have a one-size-fits-all answer for this one.  It all depends on where you work and where God is leading you.  In my case, I probably would've been forced to take off the headcovering if I had stayed at my old job, and that was just one symptom of all the moral corruption that was going on there.  If you're in a work situation where you're being forced to not wear a covering, odds are that's not the only issue going on there, and I would encourage you to step back and pray about the situation, if that makes sense. 

If it's an issue of safety and practicality, I would encourage to choose a headcovering that is conducive to your line of work.  For example, let's say you work as a nurse.  A prayer cap would not be very practical to wear at work since you'd constantly be having to untie and re-tie it whenever you used your stethoscope. 

Q: Got any advice for women considering the discipline of headcovering?
Q:  Not overthinking it is a big one! :)  I'd encourage you to start small, with a scarf or kerchief.  I'd also encourage you to only wear it part time to start with, and let God lead you from there.  If you decide it's not for you, or not for you right now, that's more than okay!

Saying No: The biggest challenge of simplicity

Sorry I've been a bit MIA again lately.  God's been doing a LOT of work in this girl's heart, and lots of preparing for a new season!  I would love to tell you all about it right now, but I'm getting the firm sense that now is not the time.  You'll all hear about it once God gives me the go-ahead, I can assure you! :)

For now I want to answer one of the frequently asked questions I get all the time about living the simple life.  I'm hoping to turn this into sort of a series.  If you're reading this and want to ask me a question about the simple life, by all means go for it!  The only catch is I'm going to post the question and my answer here on my blog for all to see :).

The question I want to address today is: "What is the hardest part about living simply?"

My answer takes a lot of people by surprise.  They expect me to give an answer like "giving up hair gel" or "giving up fashionable clothes" or "fielding everyone's questions about living differently." The truth is, those things really only bother me once in a while for a quick moment.  Those aren't the hardest parts.

The hardest part of living a simple life is learning to say no.

We are taught to over-commit from day one.  Children who are in way too many extra-curricular activities are put on pedestals as models of "success."  Children who are in fewer activities are written off as maladjusted or socially inadequate.

I'm going to say something that I know will ruffle a lot of feathers.  

Busyness is unbiblical.

Our souls were not created for all the demands we place on them.  True, we should renounce laziness and be intentional about doing the things God asks us to do.  But if we're being honest, most of us are doing a lot of things that He hasn't asked us to do.  We try to get around that cold hard truth by only doing activities that have the "Christian" label, and our souls are paying dearly.

In closing, I want to challenge you to prayerfully evaluate your life and your schedule and ask God what He wants you to say no to.  I'm almost positive there will be at least one thing.  Also, let me assure you, once you give it up, you will wonder why you didn't so sooner ;).