There Are NO "Bad" Foods!

I've had a rough weekend, so I was not happy when I saw that someone on Facebook labeled sweets as “bad.”

I'm going to be brutally honest here: Labeling ANY food as “bad” is not going to lead anywhere good. Food is neutral in itself. It's not good or bad. Our food CHOICES can be good or bad when we eat too much or too little of different things. I'm not against trying to make healthy food choices. But food choices are a separate issue from food itself.

As someone who's struggled with an eating disorder and nearly lost the battle, I take this issue of labeling “bad” foods very seriously. I'm not saying everyone who labels foods is destined to develop anorexia or bulimia, but you have to understand, it's a slippery slope. Once you start thinking in black and white like that, it's very hard to quit. I would know. I'm still working on it.

People who knew me back when I was at my sickest have told me how much healthier I look now. The kicker is, I got that way from eating lots of “bad” foods. When I was in treatment, I had a licensed dietician tell me to eat dessert every day. She also had me working on getting a decent level of fat intake from a variety of foods. (Did you know that all of our vital organs are made up mostly of fat tissue??)

So yeah, all that to say, I don't want to hear any more of this “bad” food business. Making the occasional batch of brownies is not bad. Being in danger of heart failure at age 21 because you're not eating? Now that's bad.

Redefining the concept of "diet"

 In one of my previous entries, I wrote about the importance of being connected to our food.  A huge part of eating disorder recovery was simply learning how to enjoy my food again.  When I was in the early stages of my recovery, it was simply a matter of increasing my food intake.  I had a meal plan that I was trying to stick to, but the important thing was just making sure I ate. 

Now that I’ve been in a healthy place for a few years, my food connection is deepening.  The more I get into homesteading, the more I’m learning about the miracle of food and how our bodies use it.  I’m getting to know my own body and my own nutritional needs.  I recently found out that my cholesterol is slightly elevated (it’s genetic.)  I also have a few other health conditions that I am trying to manage, at least in part, by eating healthier food.

I’m trying not to use the word “diet” in the traditional sense, because in our culture it’s so synonymous with the word “can’t.”  The general concept of a diet is a list of foods you can’t eat. If someone were to ask me if I’m “on a diet,” I suppose the technical answer would be yes.  There are some things that are either no longer a part of my diet, or are consumed in much smaller (and less frequent) amounts.  But I don’t think in terms of “can’t.”  I’m something of a go-getter when I want to be.  When I found out I have high cholesterol, my response wasn’t, “Oh great, I can’t eat this or this or this.”  I didn’t think of my diet as being restricted.  I didn’t think of it as a punishment.  I looked at it as an opportunity to find different foods that I’d enjoy eating (and maybe growing!), and that would be a bit healthier. 

I’m not saying we should never use the word “diet.”  It’s a useful word in the right context.  I just wish we could separate it from this idea of “can’t.” 

The Food Connection

 By now, my little balcony garden is thriving.  Everything looks, tastes, and smells terrific.  Every morning, before breakfast, coffee, or my work, I’m out there, watering and pruning.  I absolutely love being able to do this.  I love being physically strong enough to care for these beautiful plants.  I love knowing that I’ll be strong enough to raise my own livestock down the road.  There’s this indescribable sense of peace and wholeness.    The word “wholeness” doesn’t really go far enough.  “Connectedness” is a better word.  I’m living in color now, fully connected to these plants I’m raising and the food they produce.

I used to have extremely disordered, disconnected eating patterns.  I’m staying away from the phrase “eating disorder,” not because it offends me, but because I feel like it’s not an accurate description of what I went through, of what countless people are still going through.  The word “disconnected” is much more like it.  I was disconnected from all the positive aspects of food.  Eating had become this compartmentalized part of my existence that I resented. 

When I started outpatient rehab, I had a Body Mass Index of 16.  (The healthy range for women in my age group is 18-24).  My care team was concerned I was going to drop dead from a heart attack, because my heart was under so much stress.  My hair was coming out in such big clumps that I actually had a few bald spots.  I was so disconnected from everyone and everything. 

Gradually things began to improve.  The facility where I received treatment was phenomenal.  My heart got stronger.  My weight went up.  I started learning how to enjoy food again.  The one thing I wished this treatment center would’ve had was a huge vegetable garden for the patients. A few well-intentioned people have told me I will probably struggle with this for the rest of my life.  I used to believe that.  But now, after cultivating my garden, I respectfully disagree.  I’m not saying my experience didn’t leave scars.  I will always have to take precautions to prevent osteoporosis and other health problems that most people my age don’t have to worry about.  But anorexia doesn’t have a hold on me anymore.  It lost its power when I reconnected with food.