I
wanted to take a few minutes and write about that oh-so-lovely
intersection of hearing loss and social situations. I've gained a
lot of self-confidence in this area, especially over the past several
months, and I know I'm not the only person who's struggled with it.
While this is by no means an exhaustive list, here are the things
that have made social situations a lot easier for me. (As is the
case with everything I write about hearing loss and hearing aids, I
have no authority on wearing a cochlear implant, so CI users will
have to be the judge of whether or not this information is useful.)
1.)
Make sure your hearing aids are good quality and correctly
programmed, and make sure you wear them all the time. I
can't emphasize this enough. When I got my first pair of aids about
4 and a half years ago, I only wore them when I went out of the house
for fear of wasting the batteries. The end result of that was my
brain didn't adjust to them as much as it could have, and I didn't
hear as well as I could have. Wearing your hearing aids consistently
will help you hear better in
noisier situations like restaurants and parties.
2.)
Wear hearing aids that have a background noise filter. These
days, most hearing aids have at least one channel that filters out at
least some background noise. Don't even try to get through noisy
situations without it. If you aren't sure how to access that
channel, talk with your audiologist.
3.)
Be discerning about when to advocate for yourself and when to avoid
conflict. This has been a huge
issue for me. I used to participate in a lot of Bible studies that
were video-based with small group discussions, and it was always a
toss-up whether the instructors would let my group meet in a quiet
place or turn on the captions (or let me do it.) When I developed
the habit of emailing instructors ahead of time to explain my
situation, some of them told me right off the bat that they weren't
going to accommodate my needs for one BS reason or another.
Please
don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying we should never stick up for
our needs or try to work things out. But I've wasted a lot of energy
on selfish, stubborn people who just wouldn't budge. You have to
know when it's worth fighting and when it's not. This is especially
important if you have any kind of anxiety or mental health issues on
top of hearing loss.
4.)
Be up front in a matter-of-fact way. Depending
on the situation, I might say something like, “I'm hard of hearing,
so please face me when you talk. If I don't respond, I'm not
ignoring you, I just didn't hear you.” My hearing loss does not
affect my speech all that much, and my head scarves cover my hearing
aids, so my hearing loss tends to go unnoticed by people unless I say
something. I've wasted so much time being angry at other people and
thinking it was their responsibility to make sure they could
communicate with me. But they can't when I don't ask! Once I
started communicating my needs in a constructive way, most people
were more than happy to oblige.
5.)
Try to be specific in asking for repetition. This
shows the other person that you are genuinely trying to understand.
Saying “What?” is rude and vague. “Could you repeat that?”
Works when I've missed a sentence or two. But if I caught part of a
sentence, the most effective way to ask for repetition is to repeat
what I've heard, and pinpoint what I didn't. For example, “I'm
sorry, you did what last Tuesday?”
6.)
When playing board or card games, keep your communication needs in
mind. With games making a
comeback, it's important to think about how your hearing loss might
affect things. If I'm going to be at a party or someplace with lots
of background noise, I don't bother with games like Catch Phrase,
where the whole game is based on verbal communication. I save those
for quieter settings. I stick with games that involve little or no
verbal communication. For
games that involve minimal communication, like Set or BS, I'll
sometimes come up with signs or gestures to use for those words.
It's a handy tool even if you don't sign otherwise.
7.)
Don't waste your time with people who don't “get it.” I
kind of touched on this earlier, but it's important. Most people
will “get it” if you tell them what you need in a constructive
way. But this world is not a perfect place, and there will always be
people who don't get it. You don't need them. You are a wonderful,
ordinary, normal person who just happens to wear hearing aids. If
someone else repeatedly does not try to understand that, that's their
funeral.
I
think that's about it! I'm going to be pretty busy until after the
1st,
so I'll talk with you all in 2014! Have a happy and safe new year!
