As for finding a
solution to this epidemic, I’ve come to a conclusion that will probably ruffle
a lot of feathers:
Bullying is a complex,
societal problem that does not have a “quick fix.” Most of the ideas I’ve heard from well-intentioned parents
and teachers are great in theory, but they don’t always work in practice. The two most common “solutions” to
bullying these days are putting your child in private school and trying to
create a school environment where students take a stand against bullying and
peer violence. I can’t say that
these solutions never work, because for all I know someone else might have had
better luck with them than I did.
But they don’t solve the bigger societal issues that contribute to
bullying.
Here are the major
problems in a nutshell:
1.) We don’t practice what we preach. Parents and teachers tell children that they need to treat each
other with respect. Unfortunately,
we live in a world where most adults don’t do that. If we respected each other, it would come more naturally for
our kids, and bullying wouldn’t be anywhere near as common.
2.) Most children who turn into bullies have a
rough time of it outside the classroom.
I knew enough about my
bullies to know that every single one of them was dealing with something
major. Several of them had parents
who were going through horrible divorces.
I remember in 5th grade, one classmate in particular was
having awful side effects from an ADHD medication, and he bullied
everyone. With so many students
dealing with those kinds of situations, the odds of finding enough students to
put together some kind of coalition is slim.
3.) Even if there was enough interest in such a
coalition, there is very little support and protection for students who
actually want to take a stand against bullying and peer violence. I’ve heard countless stories of high school students who were either
suspended or threatened with suspension for breaking up fights, or standing up
for a friend who was being harassed. The “zero tolerance” policy isn’t going to work as long as
there is also “zero tolerance” for students who actually want to do the right
thing.
I really wish I had an
easy answer to the question of how do we stop bullying. But the truth is, there is no such
thing as an easy answer as long as we’ve got these bigger societal issues to
contend with.
