I've been having a rough go of it these past few weeks, to put it mildly. Between my grandmother's death in March, a nasty case of carpal tunnel, and a lot of other things I can't write about here, I'm completely burned out. I've been promising my husband that I'll take a season of rest, and it's high time I stopped talking about it and actually did it.
Every part of my being is telling me not to do this. It seems stupid and selfish to focus on myself with all the needs out there, especially when there are so many people who just won't step up even a little bit. But I'm starting to realize it's a bit like the concept of oxygen masks on airplanes. They always tell you to get your own mask in working order before helping other people with their masks. I suppose anyone could say I don't deserve a season of rest. I hate the word "deserve." The word has gotten so misused and overused. Who knows what anyone really deserves? Maybe I don't deserve a season of rest. But I sure as heck need one. I've been breathing through a faulty oxygen mask for way too long. I need to fix it before I suffocate.
I'm not completely sure how long this season of rest is going to last, or what it's going to look like exactly. There are a few things I'm sure about. I need to take a "vacation" from the Etsy shop and treat the carpal tunnel. It's gotten so bad I can hardly knit right now. My tentative plan is to re-open the shop in August, but that might very well get pushed back a bit. I'm definitely going to write and blog more, although the length of my blog entries might be a bit shorter until the CT is gone. For me, writing is cathartic as opposed to stressful. I also want to make more time to read for fun. I really need to step back and do things I WANT to do, not just things I feel like I HAVE to do.
(Side note: Please refrain from giving advice and suggestions for carpal tunnel treatment, however well-intentioned it may be. I have a treatment plan lined up, with both natural and traditional methods, and I am going to stick with what I'm using. A few people have asked me about the natural remedies I'm going to use. I will write more about that once I've been using said remedies for awhile and can more accurately judge their effectiveness :) )
