The
word “deserve” is possibly one of the most overused words in the
Christian subculture. People have so many opinions on what we don't
deserve because of original sin, or what we do deserve because Christ
lives in us. We can spin scripture to “prove” that we do or
don't deserve pretty much whatever we want.
And
that's why we really need to be done with the word “deserve.”
Can we really know, with absolute certainty, what we do or don't
deserve in this life? Some people think so, but I've come to the
conclusion that said people are a few grapes short of a fruit salad
on this one. People have so many different definitions of “deserve”
that it's become too subjective to be any sort of barometer for our
behavior.
We
need to ask ourselves what we legitimately need, and we need to get
those needs met, regardless of whether or not others think we
“deserve” it. I need rock-solid stability in my life after
everything I've been through. I need work-life balance. (Think
running an Etsy shop isn't work? Ha! Think again!) I need to make
time for things that actually make me feel good, not just things that
seem “productive” to me. I need to find that delicate balance
between getting enough social interaction and not wearing out the
“innie” half of my “ambi-vert” personality. I need knitting,
writing, and art like a diabetic needs insulin.
Do I
“deserve” any of those things? I honestly don't know. You could
say I deserve them because I'm a “good” person, or you could say
I don't because I'm a “bad” person. But I don't think it's that
simple. There are very few people who are ALL good or ALL bad. And
because of that, I don't know if I deserve any of these things. But
I know I need them.
