I'm having one of those moments where I wonder why I'm doing this.
Why am I giving up so much? Why am I giving up all the things that most Christians consider "okay"? Why am I giving up all the things I "need"?
During the past few weeks, it's as if I've been living my daily life with fresh eyes. Stores are no longer places you go to buy things. Most of them are squares in the intricate patchwork quilt of consumerism that is smothering out culture.
A year ago I was newly married and looking for a better-paying job. I remember looking forward to the cold weather. I thought about all the beautiful sweaters I wanted to buy once I had the money. I had moments where it almost became an obsession.
Contrary to popular belief, consumption is not a dead disease. My soul was sick with it for most of my life. It's still a danger to most Americans today.
I'm sitting here on another hot summer day, once again looking forward to cooler weather. But this time around, I have exactly two sweaters in my closet. They're not anywhere near as elaborate as the ones I used to want. Most of the time I wear shawls when it's cooler.
There's something about wrapping yourself in a simple piece of homemade cloth. It's reminiscent of Ghandi and Mother Teresa. They were not dependent on materialism.
I stare at my hand-knitted shawls, which are folded up on hangers in my closet for the summer. I realize a profound truth that has been overlooked for generations.
God did not create materialism. We were created in His image.
And that is why I must continue being crazy and giving up all the things I "need."
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Created to Breathe Deep
It's been horribly hot and humid this past week. It doesn't help that the humidity is bouncing all over the place. I've never felt this sick during the summer before. Whenever I come home after being at work or some other place with central air, the humidity in my apartment assaults my throat and sinuses.
The last time I sat at the table breathing in homemade thyme-infused steam, I realized that I am sick of all this.
Sick of feeling so sick, when I don't even have a cold.
Sick of the humidity and the heat.
Sick of the back and forth.
It's as if the weather is serving two masters, and my poor ENT system is collateral damage.
As I stared into the bowl of hot water, I realized something sobering.
Our souls are collateral damage whenever we try to serve two masters.
Our souls were not designed to handle the pressure of shape-shifting. And yet it's become par for the course. We convince ourselves that we can serve God while trying to be "with it" so others will think well of us. We are not supposed to be of the world. Yet we are so blended in that it's impossible to tell the difference.
After a few minutes of breathing deep, an amazing thing happens:
The pressure is off.
It's as if my body has returned to the way it was designed. Our souls don't like the pressure, either. God gave them the need to breathe deep.
It's much easier to breathe deep when you're not running around frantically trying to serve two masters.
The last time I sat at the table breathing in homemade thyme-infused steam, I realized that I am sick of all this.
Sick of feeling so sick, when I don't even have a cold.
Sick of the humidity and the heat.
Sick of the back and forth.
It's as if the weather is serving two masters, and my poor ENT system is collateral damage.
As I stared into the bowl of hot water, I realized something sobering.
Our souls are collateral damage whenever we try to serve two masters.
Our souls were not designed to handle the pressure of shape-shifting. And yet it's become par for the course. We convince ourselves that we can serve God while trying to be "with it" so others will think well of us. We are not supposed to be of the world. Yet we are so blended in that it's impossible to tell the difference.
After a few minutes of breathing deep, an amazing thing happens:
The pressure is off.
It's as if my body has returned to the way it was designed. Our souls don't like the pressure, either. God gave them the need to breathe deep.
It's much easier to breathe deep when you're not running around frantically trying to serve two masters.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Reality: the opposite of backwards
I'm off this week, so I've been trying to get into project mode. I wanted to make another apron and prayer cap. This morning I opened my sewing box only to discover I needed more needles for the sewing machine. It was raining hard, so I wasn't in any mood to go to the fabric store. I knew I wouldn't have another chance to get to the store before Friday.
In spite of the fact that my sewing machine was out of commission, I wanted to sew. I knew this wasn't impatience talking. It was something else.
So I did something that most people would say is crazy.
I made an entire prayer cap by hand.
To most people, this may be the craziest, most backwards thing a person could choose to do. I'm sure most people reading my blog would say I'm completely backwards and out of touch with reality to be choosing such a life. And I would have to respectfully but firmly disagree. Hear me when I say this:
Americans are consumed by things that put us out of touch with reality.
We can buy whatever we want whenever we want it. Most people don't have the faintest idea where their possessions came from, or how they were made, or whether the people who made them got a fair wage and decent working conditions.
Like Eve, we are getting everything we want. And it's destroying us.
As I sat stitching my prayer cap by hand, I realized something.
This IS the reality for most of the world today. This WAS the reality in America for hundreds of years before the sewing machine was invented.
And it's the complete opposite of backwards.
In spite of the fact that my sewing machine was out of commission, I wanted to sew. I knew this wasn't impatience talking. It was something else.
So I did something that most people would say is crazy.
I made an entire prayer cap by hand.
To most people, this may be the craziest, most backwards thing a person could choose to do. I'm sure most people reading my blog would say I'm completely backwards and out of touch with reality to be choosing such a life. And I would have to respectfully but firmly disagree. Hear me when I say this:
Americans are consumed by things that put us out of touch with reality.
We can buy whatever we want whenever we want it. Most people don't have the faintest idea where their possessions came from, or how they were made, or whether the people who made them got a fair wage and decent working conditions.
Like Eve, we are getting everything we want. And it's destroying us.
As I sat stitching my prayer cap by hand, I realized something.
This IS the reality for most of the world today. This WAS the reality in America for hundreds of years before the sewing machine was invented.
And it's the complete opposite of backwards.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
fear of the perfectly natural: random musings
This morning I was out on our balcony tending to the garden. A wave of frustration hit me when I discovered a bunch of caterpillars on my precious basil plant. I blasted the thing with my homemade insect repellent (Dr. Bronner's mint soap and water) and pulled off all the leaves with holes, hoping that would be the last of that.
Then it hit me: that is so typical of our culture. We get grossed out or terrified by things that are perfectly natural. We're conditioned to be repulsed by insects just doing their thing. We're so ashamed of perspiration that we slather on antiperspirants loaded with toxic chemicals in hope of suppressing a perfectly natural bodily response to warmer weather. Justin and I were talking about how there is such intense fear of pain nowadays, particularly pain in childbirth. Rather than try to work with our bodies, we try to numb ourselves up at the first sign of discomfort. I'm not saying we should never use pain relief. It's just stunning how much we've all grown to depend on it.
I think one of the things that can make life simpler is not trying so hard to work against the way God designed things. It's not the most profound realization I've ever had, but at the same time I think it'd make all the difference if we could really put it into practice.
Then it hit me: that is so typical of our culture. We get grossed out or terrified by things that are perfectly natural. We're conditioned to be repulsed by insects just doing their thing. We're so ashamed of perspiration that we slather on antiperspirants loaded with toxic chemicals in hope of suppressing a perfectly natural bodily response to warmer weather. Justin and I were talking about how there is such intense fear of pain nowadays, particularly pain in childbirth. Rather than try to work with our bodies, we try to numb ourselves up at the first sign of discomfort. I'm not saying we should never use pain relief. It's just stunning how much we've all grown to depend on it.
I think one of the things that can make life simpler is not trying so hard to work against the way God designed things. It's not the most profound realization I've ever had, but at the same time I think it'd make all the difference if we could really put it into practice.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Back in the saddle!
Sorry I've been so incommunicado! Due to massive technical difficulties, we only JUST got Comcast here at our apartment.
It's been a busy couple of months to say the least! Our balcony garden is in full swing. We're looking forward to having tomatoes and zucchinis. I've been trying my hand at "companion planting", that is, planting herbs alongside vegetables as an organic pest repellent. Been having moderate success with that. We just bought a huge basil plant at the farmer's market, which smells heavenly!
I have been trying to figure out how to balance plain clothes with keeping cool in this hot weather. Lately it's been so hot that I really don't want to wear much clothing, so I've mostly been wearing modest tanks with skirts. On very hot days I haven't even wanted to bother with wearing a kerchief. It's something I've been continuing to pray about.
I'll try to hop on here in the next few days and write about what's been going on spiritually. I just wanted to hop on quick and assure you all that I have not disappeared off the face of this earth :).
It's been a busy couple of months to say the least! Our balcony garden is in full swing. We're looking forward to having tomatoes and zucchinis. I've been trying my hand at "companion planting", that is, planting herbs alongside vegetables as an organic pest repellent. Been having moderate success with that. We just bought a huge basil plant at the farmer's market, which smells heavenly!
I have been trying to figure out how to balance plain clothes with keeping cool in this hot weather. Lately it's been so hot that I really don't want to wear much clothing, so I've mostly been wearing modest tanks with skirts. On very hot days I haven't even wanted to bother with wearing a kerchief. It's something I've been continuing to pray about.
I'll try to hop on here in the next few days and write about what's been going on spiritually. I just wanted to hop on quick and assure you all that I have not disappeared off the face of this earth :).
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Greetings from New Brighton!
Hi everyone! Hope you all had a blessed Easter!
Sorry I've been out of touch. We moved to New Brighton on March 24th and we've been busy with getting settled in. I've been throwing myself into gardening. I started my seed trays right after we moved. I'm joining a community garden project with our house church. That'll start to take shape pretty soon, once the weather decides to stay warmer at night. I've been growing a bunch of pumpkin seedlings that'll go in the garden, since my balconey is way too small for those. I just potted a couple green bean seedlings, and I'll pot more of them this week. I never realized how counter-cultural it is to grow your own food!
I've been plugging away at my list of gifts, and I'll be adding more to the blog soon. Take care!
Sorry I've been out of touch. We moved to New Brighton on March 24th and we've been busy with getting settled in. I've been throwing myself into gardening. I started my seed trays right after we moved. I'm joining a community garden project with our house church. That'll start to take shape pretty soon, once the weather decides to stay warmer at night. I've been growing a bunch of pumpkin seedlings that'll go in the garden, since my balconey is way too small for those. I just potted a couple green bean seedlings, and I'll pot more of them this week. I never realized how counter-cultural it is to grow your own food!
I've been plugging away at my list of gifts, and I'll be adding more to the blog soon. Take care!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A Retraction
I'd like to apologize for my comment in "How it all began" about the cosmetic industry being sinful. I was painting with too broad a brush, as the saying goes.
I know I've been bad about writing. We're moving in a month so it's gotten pretty hectic. But I'll try to write again soon. God's been doing a lot! :)
I know I've been bad about writing. We're moving in a month so it's gotten pretty hectic. But I'll try to write again soon. God's been doing a lot! :)
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