As you can see by some
of my previous posts, I’ve been coming out of the divorce kid closet. Out of respect for my family, I’m not
going to go into too much detail about my particular situation on here. If you’re a DK and would like to
connect with me elsewhere online, I’d be more than happy to do so :).
I’m hoping that this post will provide some encouragement for my fellow
Christian DKs, as well as provide an opportunity for DKs to connect with each
other online.
In a nutshell, here is
what I would love to say to all of you:
1.) God loves you! I can’t
emphasize this enough. No matter
what your family situation is like, whether you are a Christian or not, no matter how many “Christians” have
given you flak for your parents’ divorce, God loves you. God is not the people who have hurt
you. God loves you
unconditionally.
2.) Take care of yourself. Whether your parents have gotten divorced recently or they’ve been
divorced for years, it’s going to affect you. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You are going to deal with things that
people without divorced parents don’t have to deal with. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true, and
I’d be doing you all a huge disservice if I wasn’t honest about this. Do what you need to do to maintain your
emotional well-being. If you need to see a therapist, receive prayer, keep a
journal, take a job with fewer hours, whatever you need, please don’t be afraid
to go for it. You will be so much
happier and healthier in the long run.
3.) Build a support network. I
know this is easier said than done, because we live our lives surrounded by
people who don’t “get” what it’s like to be a DK. But we need people in our lives who will listen to us
without passing judgment. My
support network still isn’t as big as I would like, but it’s a work in
progress, and it’s a huge help.
4.) Work toward forgiveness. Forgiveness is absolutely crucial. If you want to experience true freedom and joy in this life,
you need to forgive. You need to
forgive your parents and anyone who has mistreated you for being a DK. Forgiveness doesn’t mean letting the
other person off the hook. It
means letting go of their throat and believing God when He says He will take
care of it. It also doesn’t mean
you can’t set boundaries if a situation warrants it. If someone is constantly saying or doing hurtful things and
they won’t repent, you have every right to put some parameters in place to keep
them from hurting you and protect the freedom you are working to achieve.
5.) Seek out other divorce kids.
Like I said, we experience life differently from other believers and
from people who do not have divorced parents. We need each other.
For your own sake and for the sake of your fellow DK’s, please come out
of the divorce kid closet. Being a
Christian is tough. So is being a divorce kid. Put them both together and it’s a very narrow path to
walk. Let’s walk together.
DK’s of any religious
affiliation/belief system are welcome to join the discussion! I just ask that everyone be considerate
and respectful with your comments.
I really hope this post
will come to serve as a springboard for more discussion and connection amongst
DK’s. Again, if you would rather
swap war stories in private, that can be arranged. Just leave a comment letting me know that’s what you’d like
to do, and we’ll go from there :).
