Friday, December 14, 2012

The One Thing That Really Matters

Lately I've been hit by the realization that I'm surrounded by emptiness.  No, that doesn't go far enough.

I'm finding nothing but emptiness in the things that used to fill me up.

"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ." (Philippians 3:8.)

There are so many things that simply don't matter.

There's really only one thing that will matter in ten minutes, ten days, ten years, a lifetime.

Jesus is alive.

As details about today's shooting in Connecticut flood the internet, St. Paul's words become louder and clearer than anything I've ever heard with my physical ears.  

My heart has this overwhelming need to stand still this evening.  All the little things that seemed earth-shattering before are empty and pointless now.  I stare at the knitting project that I was convinced was going to be the death of me.  Now it's just an insignificant pile of wool.  

All I can think about is the fact that I'm still breathing, and I still have a husband and nieces nephews to hug the stuffing out of.  

I have this overwhelming need to put all the useless crap on hold just for tonight.  I need to hold onto this truth with everything that I am.

Jesus is still alive.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Italian Meatballs

I had posted on Facebook that the hubby and I have instituted a new tradition: Crockpot Sunday!  It's pretty simple:  We throw dinner in the crockpot on Sunday morning before church.  By the time we get home from church, the kitchen smells absolutely fantastic!

I've been falling in love with cooking, and I very rarely leave recipes the way I find them.  I usually add or tweak at least one minor thing, and most of the time it still turns out great.

Here is the Italian meatball recipe we tried yesterday.  Enjoy!

(Adapted from "Betty Crocker Money Saving Meals)

Italian Meatballs with Marinara Sauce
 3/4 lb ground beef
3/4 lb ground pork (we actually used 1 1/2 lbs of beef and it worked just fine)
1 small onion, chopped (1/4 cup)
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 cup Italian-style bread crumbs
1 egg, slightly beaten
1 jar (28 oz marinara sauce)

If you yell "ta-da!" like Meryl Streep in "Julie and Julia" when you finish chopping the onion, I'll totally be your friend :D.

Heat oven to 375.  Line 9 by 13 pan with foil and spray with cooking spray.   In large bowl, mix all ingredients except marinara sauce, basil, and oregano.  Shape mixture into 1 1/2 in. balls.  Place in pan.  Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until no longer pink in center.

Place meatballs in 3 1/2 to 4-quart slow cooker.  Poor marinara sauce over meatballs.  Add basil and oregano and stir gently.

Cover and cook on low heat setting 6 to 7 hours to blend and develop flavors.

Time saving trick: If you're trying to get the meatballs in the crockpot before going to church like we did, chop up the onion and garlic ahead of time.  I probably could have made it even quicker by cooking the meatballs the day before.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Love-Hate Update for Nov. 2nd '12

I know I've hit a new low for posting.  A lot's been happening.  Right now I'm not really sure how much to share publicly, so I'm erring on the side of caution on this one.  I'll share more as I feel led to.  For now, I'll do another love-hate post.

Loves and hates for November 2nd:

Love:
-laughing with the hubby so hard it hurts

-our crazy lovable Esther, who has made it clear that her 11 years are not going to slow her down.  This week she has taken up howling at cars outside and spring-boarding off the furniture!

-coffee.  Need I say more? :p

-slowly learning that God is REALLY in control, and things REALLY work out even you haven't the faintest idea how

-my body is coping with stress much better than it used to
 
Hate:
-Dad got another low WBC count, which meant 50% strength for the chemo this week.  

-how everyone has the (Incredibly Mistaken) idea that non-smokers don't get lung cancer

-feeling like I don't really have enough time to fully address all of my complicated emotions about my dad having cancer

-Election season.  It's always infested with fear, judgment, paranoia, and cynicism.  Let's leave it at that.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Importance of Yesterday


The Importance of Yesterday

It happens every so often.  I get so caught up in who I am, and where I’m going, that I forget who I was.

If you took a good look at who I am, who I was would shock and probably horrify you.
I was a girl who looked for love, acceptance, and fulfillment in a lot of wrong places.

I battled an eating disorder for many years.

I was trapped in the lie that if I could work just a little harder, God would love me more.
I was hiding an addiction to self-injury for most of my teenage years.

This is not who I am today.  But it all played a part in getting me here.  It doesn’t define me, but it shaped me and it explains me.
We need to remember who we were yesterday.

We need to remember that everyone we meet has their own yesterday.  It’s easy for middle-class people to take one look at a homeless person and separate them from their yesterday.  It’s easy to assume that who they are today is who they’ve always been. 

It’s easy to assume that this person over here, who I’ve decided is inferior to me, is more hopeless and in need of Christ than I am.
That’s why judgment is so spiritually toxic.

When we judge, we dismiss the fact that none of us can break free from our yesterdays alone.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Love-Hate Update for Oct. 12, 2012

 
I really want to write about what's happened this week, and as you'll see, I am really tired and don't feel up for writing anything too involved.  So I decided to try this Love-Hate format I've seen on a couple different blogs.

Loves and hates for this past week:

Love:
-selling a shawl on my Etsy website 
-falling asleep with a very cuddly Esther (our new cat) on my pillow just about every night
-an amazingly calm Tuesday morning with my wonderful group of toddlers.  Love seeing those kiddos every week!

Hate:
-Dad's low white blood cell count, which prevented him from receiving chemo this week
-insanely high fatigue level from what seems to be thyroid problems after enjoying the best health I've had in years
-Mom will need to have skin cancer removed.  This makes the 4th cancer diagnosis to hit my family in about 6 monthsNot really finding the words to express how much I hate this.

I guess that's about it for today.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Our Hand-Powered Washing Machine!

One thing we've been wanting to do is wean ourselves off of using the washing machine and dryer all the time.  We were tired of using so much water just to save a little time.  Plus, those machines are energy vampires!

A few months ago, we took the plunge and bought a hand-powered washing machine, and we've been thrilled with the results!  I'd say I do about two-thirds of our laundry in the Wonder Wash.  (I still do sheets and towels in the dryer because they're too big.  I also use the machine occasionally if I'm too worn out to use the WW.)  If we have kids, I'll use the Wonder Wash for the cloth diapers.  At this point I honestly can't say how much of our laundry will go into the Wonder Washer once I'm doing laundry for a family instead of a couple, but I'll certainly use it as much as I can.

I'm sure you're all wondering, "Doesn't that take forever?"  And believe it or not, it doesn't! :)  It takes less than 5 minutes per load.  

And for an added bonus: Since we live in an apartment, every load I do in the Wonder Wash is one load we don't have to shell out a handful of quarters for! :D

If you've ever wanted to try a hand-powered washer, I say just buy one and give it a try!  You can use it as much or as little as you want while you're getting used to it.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Make your own shower and glass cleaner!

I've been wanting to share my product recipes on here for awhile, and I'm finally getting around to it!  

The first recipe I'm going to share is the homemade shower cleaner we've been using for several months.  It also works on mirrors!  I have yet to try it on windows, but I'm sure that would work too.

Supplies:
-spray bottle
-white vinegar
-small amount of scented organic detergent or soap (we use Dr. Bronner's; Target has started carrying it, can also find at whole food stores and online)

And yes, that's really all you need!

What you do:
1.)   Fill up spray bottle no more than about 1/4 of the way with vinegar (too much vinegar can soften the grout between the tiles

2.)  Fill it up the rest of the way with water.

3.)  Add a splash of soap or detergent to kill the smell.

4.)  Shake the daylights out of it!  (Dr. Bronner's soap clumps up a bit when you first mix it up; it's just the reaction between the soap and the vinegar.  It evens out over time.)

And yes, that's really all you do! :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Thoughts on Humanity's Perception of Death

I once read somewhere that human beings are the most afraid of/repulsed by two things.  The first is expulsion of bodily waste.   The second is death.  

Our precious, almost-2-year-old cat Luna was put down two weeks ago.  She was diagnosed with multiple organ failure.  Even if we had chosen to put her in the ICU for a day, there wasn't much chance that she'd survive.  We made the extremely difficult decision to put her out of her misery.

I put off writing about Luna's death publicly, both because of my own human aversion to death and because I didn't want anyone passing judgment on my husband and me for deciding on euthanasia.  So at first, I decided the easiest thing to do would just be to put off writing about Luna's death until I couldn't keep it inside anymore.

Then I realized that suppressing the reality of death may be the natural thing to do, but it's also the last thing we should do.  I think one of the best, healthiest things we can do for ourselves is accept the fact that, on some level, death is a part of life in this world.

 I realized it's going to be especially important to accept this if I want to get into urban farming.  I'm going to have to practically and spiritually deal with animal deaths as they happen.  At some point, I may end up in a situation where the most loving thing I could do might be to end an animal's life as quickly as possible.

I realize I'm probably in for lots of loaded comments about how I'm a bad Christian for saying that death is a part of life.  I'm probably in for comments on how God didn't create death, there was no death in the garden of Eden, yada yada yada.  I'm not going to deny any of that, but I'm also not going to deny that death is a part of our earthly lives.

Maybe one day I'll stop feeling so human when it comes to death.  Right now, it's still a work in progress.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Ask Kati: Headcovering Q and A's

In answering the Ask Kati questions, I am trying to stay away from long lists of FAQ's, because I know those can be daunting to try to get through.  But I decided to make an exception in addressing the subject of headcovering, because there are a few questions that I get asked a lot, and it seemed a lot simpler to put all those questions and answers in one place.  After all, simplicity is the name of the game here ;).

Alright, here we go!

Q: Why do you cover your head?
A: The simplest answer is, I cover because I believe God wants me to.  That was my only reason when I started out.  The longer I do it, the more I see other reasons to do it, and not all the reasons are blatantly spiritual.  One reason I continue to cover my head is it acts as a protest against the hair product industry.  Most hair products contain toxic chemicals.  Plus, there are more important things than making sure my hair looks good.

Q: What kind of covering do you wear?
A:  When I started out, I wore a prayer cap that I had crocheted.  Then I progressed to cloth prayer caps that I had sewn.  I recently switched to scarves and kerchiefs simply because I wear hearing aids, and it drove me crazy untying and re-tying the cap every time I had to adjust my aids.  I would like to try veils once my hair is long enough. 

Q: How often do you wear a headcovering?
A:  At first I only wore prayer caps to church.  After a couple months or so, I began covering my head most of the time.  I don't wear a covering when I'm sleeping.  The few times I've forgotten to take it off when I laid down for a nap, I had taken it off in my sleep, so I don't bother sleeping in it.

Q: Don't people stare?
A:  I got a few stares with the prayer caps, but I got used to it pretty quickly.  To be honest, the scarves draw a lot less attention.  But people didn't really stare as much as you might think.  Most people are pretty self-absorbed.

Q: How do you deal with headcovering issues at work?
A:  This question always makes me smile, since it was issues at work that led to my changing direction and going plain!  I don't have a one-size-fits-all answer for this one.  It all depends on where you work and where God is leading you.  In my case, I probably would've been forced to take off the headcovering if I had stayed at my old job, and that was just one symptom of all the moral corruption that was going on there.  If you're in a work situation where you're being forced to not wear a covering, odds are that's not the only issue going on there, and I would encourage you to step back and pray about the situation, if that makes sense. 

If it's an issue of safety and practicality, I would encourage to choose a headcovering that is conducive to your line of work.  For example, let's say you work as a nurse.  A prayer cap would not be very practical to wear at work since you'd constantly be having to untie and re-tie it whenever you used your stethoscope. 

Q: Got any advice for women considering the discipline of headcovering?
Q:  Not overthinking it is a big one! :)  I'd encourage you to start small, with a scarf or kerchief.  I'd also encourage you to only wear it part time to start with, and let God lead you from there.  If you decide it's not for you, or not for you right now, that's more than okay!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Saying No: The biggest challenge of simplicity

Sorry I've been a bit MIA again lately.  God's been doing a LOT of work in this girl's heart, and lots of preparing for a new season!  I would love to tell you all about it right now, but I'm getting the firm sense that now is not the time.  You'll all hear about it once God gives me the go-ahead, I can assure you! :)

For now I want to answer one of the frequently asked questions I get all the time about living the simple life.  I'm hoping to turn this into sort of a series.  If you're reading this and want to ask me a question about the simple life, by all means go for it!  The only catch is I'm going to post the question and my answer here on my blog for all to see :).

The question I want to address today is: "What is the hardest part about living simply?"

My answer takes a lot of people by surprise.  They expect me to give an answer like "giving up hair gel" or "giving up fashionable clothes" or "fielding everyone's questions about living differently." The truth is, those things really only bother me once in a while for a quick moment.  Those aren't the hardest parts.

The hardest part of living a simple life is learning to say no.

We are taught to over-commit from day one.  Children who are in way too many extra-curricular activities are put on pedestals as models of "success."  Children who are in fewer activities are written off as maladjusted or socially inadequate.

I'm going to say something that I know will ruffle a lot of feathers.  

Busyness is unbiblical.

Our souls were not created for all the demands we place on them.  True, we should renounce laziness and be intentional about doing the things God asks us to do.  But if we're being honest, most of us are doing a lot of things that He hasn't asked us to do.  We try to get around that cold hard truth by only doing activities that have the "Christian" label, and our souls are paying dearly.

In closing, I want to challenge you to prayerfully evaluate your life and your schedule and ask God what He wants you to say no to.  I'm almost positive there will be at least one thing.  Also, let me assure you, once you give it up, you will wonder why you didn't so sooner ;).
 

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

When you're stuck in the middle

I recently read Lauren Winner's StillShe wrote it in the midst of going through a divorce.  She talked about how she felt like she was in the middle of her faith life.  She was mulling over the fact that there isn't a middle voice in the English language.  When I read the book, this whole idea of being stuck in the middle was an abstract concept I couldn't wrap my mind around.

Then, last week, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.  My dad, who had never smoked a day in his life, who's biked a crazy lot of miles.  And before I knew it, I was stuck in that same middle I'd just read about.

I don't have words for this place, but it's the same place the world was between Jesus' death and resurrection.  I don't know where to go from here.  Describing it as a season of waiting doesn't seem adequate.  

During this past week, I've had moments where it seems like my life is going on with me.  I'm there, but I'm not there.  Sometimes it's as if I'm watching the rest of the world from behind glass, wishing I could touch it.

Yesterday started off as one of those days where being off this month felt like a curse.  I had to do something.  I went outside to pick crab apples for bread.  I found myself studying them as I picked them.

All the vibrant shades of red and pink were so bright against the grayness of the rest of the world.

I came back in with my bin of crab apples.  It took every ounce of strength to chop them up and add the lemon juice.  But I couldn't shake the idea that I had to keep taking that next step.

When you're in that middle space between death and resurrection, sometimes the most worshipful thing you can do is keep doing the next thing.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Love + Forgiveness = VICTORY!

"If you can love your enemy, then you already have the victory."
   -from "The Help"

" 'But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.' "
   -Matthew 5:44, NKJV

"Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.' "
  -Luke 23:34, NKJV

Yesterday, God gave me an opportunity to put these principles into practice.

I was driving home from the library.  All of a sudden the car in the lane next to me darted in front of me (without signaling!), swerved around all the cars that were turning, and sped off.  God must've given my reflexes an extra boost, because there was no way I would've been able to stop in time on my own.

As I kept driving, I began to get very angry.  I was in a serious accident in 2010, and that was with all parties driving responsibly.  So I have no patience for reckless driving.  I was driving along, and then I heard Him speak.

I want you to bless that man.

I was quick to respond.  "Um, yeah, not happening.  I don't make a point of blessing people who nearly kill me."

I want you to bless that man.

"Why do I have to make the sacrifice if I didn't do anything wrong?"

If My justice were to come down this instant, would you survive the fire?

As I began to rattle off the standard prayer of blessing, I finally got it.  If we want to be able to truly forgive, and love others with the love of Christ, we need to first receive His forgiveness.  That cannot happen until we repent for our own sins and shortcomings.

 
 

  

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Elements of an Authentic Christian Faith

A reader challenged me to spend more time contemplating the fundamentals of the Christian faith.  I froze up at first, not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't have the words.

I was mulling over it while I was doing housework this morning.  I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to pull out Detrich Bonhoeffer's Discipleship.

I froze again.  That book was not on my beautifully crafted reading list.  (I often freeze up when God tweaks my plans.  You'd think I'd be used to it after almost 8 years, but nope.)

I opened Discipleship  and found the words I'd been looking for.  Sometimes the words we need are not our own.  In this instance, I needed the words of this Nazi-resisting, pacifist German pastor.  

I've italicized the words that describe the basic elements of the Christian faith:

"Cheap grace is preaching forgiveness without repentance; it is baptism without community; it is the Lord's Supper without confession of sin; it is absolution without personal confession.  Cheap grace is grace is without discipleship; grace without the cross, grace without the living, incarnate Christ.

I am not discounting the importance of forgiveness, baptism, communion, or absolution.  But those are not the elements of Christianity, contrary to popular belief. Those are the results of being rooted in the elements.  

I plan on digging deeper into these Christian elements as God directs, and I'll share my findings here :) 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

When You Can Barely Even Crawl

On days I don't have to be somewhere right away, I try to start off with prayer time.  Sometimes it flows right away.

Other times, like today, I feel like I don't even know where to begin.

I'm still struggling in that place between the spiritual freedom of plain dress, and the temptation to own more clothing than I could possibly need.  I still cannot explain in a single sentence why I'm compelled to wear plain dress.  I still ask why so many bad things happen to god people.  I still ask God why He gives free will to the people who clearly don't know how to use it correctly.

I consider ripping off my prayer cap, since the last thing I want to do is pray. I start to remember the last supper scene in "All Things New," the annual Easter production at the church I work at.  It's a striking production because it's not fluffy.  As Jesus washes the disciples' feet, His despair causes His body to sink progressively lower until He is slithering from one person to the next, barely crawling, pushing the bowl of water.

The Savior of the world was in a pit of depression so severe He could barely function.

Even though I was watching actors, something told me this might have been exactly how it happened.

I mull over this for a bit, and then I feel led to pick up Oswald Chambers' My Utmost For His Highest.  I flip to today, August 2nd. 

It has the very fitting title of "The Teaching of Adversity."

Almost instantly, I feel a little better.  Not because I have answers, but because a few more glimmers of light are being shed on my situation.

The call to plain dress mirrors what our brother Oswald Chambers refers to as "being delivered in adversity."  When I dress this way, something happens that couldn't happen until I started dressing this way.

As I close the book, I can feel God slowly lifting my withered soul up off the floor.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Consumption: a very real disease

I'm having one of those moments where I wonder why I'm doing this.

Why am I giving up so much?  Why am I giving up all the things that most Christians consider "okay"?  Why am I giving up all the things I "need"?

During the past few weeks, it's as if I've been living my daily life with fresh eyes.  Stores are no longer places you go to buy things.  Most of them are squares in the intricate patchwork quilt of consumerism that is smothering out culture.

A year ago I was newly married and looking for a better-paying job.  I remember looking forward to the cold weather.  I thought about all the beautiful sweaters I wanted to buy once I had the money.  I had moments where it almost became an obsession.

Contrary to popular belief, consumption is not a dead disease.  My soul was sick with it for most of my life.  It's still a danger to most Americans today.

I'm sitting here on another hot summer day, once again looking forward to cooler weather.  But this time around, I have exactly two sweaters in my closet.  They're not anywhere near as elaborate as the ones I used to want.  Most of the time I wear shawls when it's cooler.  

There's something about wrapping yourself in a simple piece of homemade cloth.  It's reminiscent of Ghandi and Mother Teresa.  They were not dependent on materialism.

I stare at my hand-knitted shawls, which are folded up on hangers in my closet for the summer.  I realize a profound truth that has been overlooked for generations.

God did not create materialism.  We were created in His image.

And that is why I must continue being crazy and giving up all the things I "need."

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Created to Breathe Deep

It's been horribly hot and humid this past week.  It doesn't help that the humidity is bouncing all over the place.  I've never felt this sick during the summer before.  Whenever I come home after being at work or some other place with central air, the humidity in my apartment assaults my throat and sinuses.  

The last time I sat at the table breathing in homemade thyme-infused steam, I realized that I am sick of all this.

Sick of feeling so sick, when I don't even have a cold.

Sick of the humidity and the heat.

Sick of the back and forth.

It's as if the weather is serving two masters, and my poor ENT system is collateral damage.

As I stared into the bowl of hot water, I realized something sobering.

Our souls are collateral damage whenever we try to serve two masters.  

Our souls were not designed to handle the pressure of shape-shifting.  And yet it's become par for the course.  We convince ourselves that we can serve God while trying to be "with it" so others will think well of us.  We are not supposed to be of the world.  Yet we are so blended in that it's impossible to tell the difference.  

After a few minutes of breathing deep, an amazing thing happens:

The pressure is off.

It's as if my body has returned to the way it was designed.  Our souls don't like the pressure, either.  God gave them the need to breathe deep.

It's much easier to breathe deep when you're not running around frantically trying to serve two masters.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Reality: the opposite of backwards

I'm off this week, so I've been trying to get into project mode.  I wanted to make another apron and prayer cap.  This morning I opened my sewing box only to discover I needed more needles for the sewing machine.  It was raining hard, so I wasn't in any mood to go to the fabric store.  I knew I wouldn't have another chance to get to the store before Friday.  

In spite of the fact that my sewing machine was out of commission, I wanted to sew.  I knew this wasn't impatience talking.  It was something else.

So I did something that most people would say is crazy.

I made an entire prayer cap by hand.

To most people, this may be the craziest, most backwards thing a person could choose to do.  I'm sure most people reading my blog would say I'm completely backwards and out of touch with reality to be choosing such a life.  And I would have to respectfully but firmly disagree.  Hear me when I say this:

Americans are consumed by things that put us out of touch with reality.

We can buy whatever we want whenever we want it.  Most people don't have the faintest idea where their possessions came from, or how they were made, or whether the people who made them got a fair wage and decent working conditions.  


Like Eve, we are getting everything we want.  And it's destroying us. 

As I sat stitching my prayer cap by hand, I realized something.

This IS the reality for most of the world today.  This WAS the reality in America for hundreds of years before the sewing machine was invented.

And it's the complete opposite of backwards.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

fear of the perfectly natural: random musings

This morning I was out on our balcony tending to the garden.  A wave of frustration hit me when I discovered a bunch of caterpillars on my precious basil plant.  I blasted the thing with my homemade insect repellent (Dr. Bronner's mint soap and water) and pulled off all the leaves with holes, hoping that would be the last of that.

Then it hit me: that is so typical of our culture.  We get grossed out or terrified by things that are perfectly natural.  We're conditioned to be repulsed by insects just doing their thing.  We're so ashamed of perspiration that we slather on antiperspirants loaded with toxic chemicals in hope of suppressing a perfectly natural bodily response to warmer weather.  Justin and I were talking about how there is such intense fear of pain nowadays, particularly pain in childbirth.  Rather than try to work with our bodies, we try to numb ourselves up at the first sign of discomfort.  I'm not saying we should never use pain relief.  It's just stunning how much we've all grown to depend on it.

I think one of the things that can make life simpler is not trying so hard to work against the way God designed things.  It's not the most profound realization I've ever had, but at the same time I think it'd make all the difference if we could really put it into practice.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Back in the saddle!

Sorry I've been so incommunicado!  Due to massive technical difficulties, we only JUST got Comcast here at our apartment.  

It's been a busy couple of months to say the least!  Our balcony garden is in full swing.  We're looking forward to having tomatoes and zucchinis.  I've been trying my hand at "companion planting", that is, planting herbs alongside vegetables as an organic pest repellent.  Been having moderate success with that.  We just bought a huge basil plant at the farmer's market, which smells heavenly!

I have been trying to figure out how to balance plain clothes with keeping cool in this hot weather.  Lately it's been so hot that I really don't want to wear much clothing, so I've mostly been wearing modest tanks with skirts.  On very hot days I haven't even wanted to bother with wearing a kerchief.  It's something I've been continuing to pray about.

I'll try to hop on here in the next few days and write about what's been going on spiritually.  I just wanted to hop on quick and assure you all that I have not disappeared off the face of this earth :).

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Greetings from New Brighton!

Hi everyone!  Hope you all had a blessed Easter! 

Sorry I've been out of touch.  We moved to New Brighton on March 24th and we've been busy with getting settled in.  I've been throwing myself into gardening.  I started my seed trays right after we moved.  I'm joining a community garden project with our house church.  That'll start to take shape pretty soon, once the weather decides to stay warmer at night.  I've been growing a bunch of pumpkin seedlings that'll go in the garden, since my balconey is way too small for those.  I just potted a couple green bean seedlings, and I'll pot more of them this week.  I never realized how counter-cultural it is to grow your own food!

I've been plugging away at my list of gifts, and I'll be adding more to the blog soon.  Take care!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

A Retraction

I'd like to apologize for my comment in "How it all began" about the cosmetic industry being sinful.  I was painting with too broad a brush, as the saying goes.

I know I've been bad about writing.  We're moving in a month so it's gotten pretty hectic.  But I'll try to write again soon.  God's been doing a lot! :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Living in Gratitude

Around the time this transformation started, the importance and joy of gratitude began to sink in.  I used to do gratitude journals from time to time, which were simple lists of things I was grateful for that day.  I didn't put too fine a point on it, though.  It just felt like what I should do.  Then I stumbled upon Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience.  This dear sister actually set out to list a thousand gifts she's received from the Lord in the midst of everyday life!  

In early November, I set out to make my own list of the gifts God has given me.  I'm learning that I have to want to find the gifts or I'm not going to want to find them.  But now that I'm starting to look, I'm seeing them everywhere, even places I didn't know gifts could reside!

Right now we're up to 97 and counting!  Here are a few highlights:
49.) Grilled cheese and tomato soup
64.) Amish cookbooks
66.) handmade slippers
77.) the heat in my car is in working order

I'm even seeing gifts in the midst of my current battle with tonsillitis :):
85.) rainbow sherbet :D
86.) our warm, comfortable bed
95.) lazy mornings
96.) antibiotics
97.) long, healing naps


Leave a post if you've started listing a thousand gifts!  I'd love to hear from you!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How It All Began

     It all started after I lost my job in November.  I didn’t feel like God was leading me to look for another one.  My job had become my idol, and it was just sucking the life out of me.  I was letting my boss and co-workers determine my value.  The really sad part was I felt like I didn’t have any other options.
      It was around this time that I started accumulating a few babysitting jobs.  I’d forgotten how much I loved babysitting.  I loved hanging with the kids without other people kicking me around all day.  I felt free.  I also realized how much I loved knitting.  I didn’t really have the time or energy to do it while I was working as a TA.
       I was also starting to get really frustrated with the fashion and cosmetology industries.  After wearing plainer clothes for a while, I began to see how pointless and sinful the fashion industry has become.  There is really no earthly reason to own 30-some pairs of shoes when there are people going barefoot everywhere else in the world.  There’s also the issue of sweatshops and child labor.  When I made the decision to start wearing plain clothes, I was determined to hone my sewing skills and make as many of my own things as possible.  Anything I can’t make, I’ll get it used or buy it from an independent seamstress or supplier.  It’d be wonderful to know that no innocent people were harmed in the making of my clothing.
         I donated my hair in November, and I was driving myself crazy trying to style what was left.  Long hair was so much simpler.  I would just throw it in a braid after washing it, and that was that.  I was also feeling led to wear head coverings on Sundays and Tuesdays for starters (our church group meets on Tuesday nights.)  Long hair would be a lot easier to put under a headcovering.  I decided I will grow my hair long, and simply trim the ends while my hair is braided when it starts looking shabby.  I have never had a positive experience in a hair salon, and the whole industry is based on people recreating other people in their own image.
       Then I began examining the cosmetic industry.  I looked through all my makeup and asked myself why I’d been wearing it.  For the most part, I’ve been wearing it to draw my attention to my face.  I covered up my dark circles, which I hated, and focused on my eyes, which I loved.  I had fallen into the trap of spending way too much time at the mirror.  I decided to try going without makeup for a while to see what happened.  Getting ready in the morning became a lot simpler.  There have also been numerous emotional and spiritual changes.  It’s like I’ve taken off a mask.  I’m not pretending anymore.  What you see is what you get.  My strengths and weaknesses are what they are.  I’ve also stopped focusing on other people’s appearances.  I’m slowly becoming less judgmental.  I’m getting more in tune with people’s personalities and needs.
           I’m not going to pretend that I’ve got everything figured out, or that I’ve magically become content with this new way of life.  I don’t have any kind of flourish or big ending for this entry.  This isn’t even really an ending.  It’s more of a beginning of the path I’m being called to.  The most appropriate parting words I can think of come from Elizabeth Hunnicutt’s song On The Way:

                “Still I fall and You reach; I am foolish, so You teach;
                  I wander but You stay by my side on the way.”