I'm having one of those moments where I wonder why I'm doing this.
Why am I giving up so much? Why am I giving up all the things that most Christians consider "okay"? Why am I giving up all the things I "need"?
During the past few weeks, it's as if I've been living my daily life with fresh eyes. Stores are no longer places you go to buy things. Most of them are squares in the intricate patchwork quilt of consumerism that is smothering out culture.
A year ago I was newly married and looking for a better-paying job. I remember looking forward to the cold weather. I thought about all the beautiful sweaters I wanted to buy once I had the money. I had moments where it almost became an obsession.
Contrary to popular belief, consumption is not a dead disease. My soul was sick with it for most of my life. It's still a danger to most Americans today.
I'm sitting here on another hot summer day, once again looking forward to cooler weather. But this time around, I have exactly two sweaters in my closet. They're not anywhere near as elaborate as the ones I used to want. Most of the time I wear shawls when it's cooler.
There's something about wrapping yourself in a simple piece of homemade cloth. It's reminiscent of Ghandi and Mother Teresa. They were not dependent on materialism.
I stare at my hand-knitted shawls, which are folded up on hangers in my closet for the summer. I realize a profound truth that has been overlooked for generations.
God did not create materialism. We were created in His image.
And that is why I must continue being crazy and giving up all the things I "need."
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Created to Breathe Deep
It's been horribly hot and humid this past week. It doesn't help that the humidity is bouncing all over the place. I've never felt this sick during the summer before. Whenever I come home after being at work or some other place with central air, the humidity in my apartment assaults my throat and sinuses.
The last time I sat at the table breathing in homemade thyme-infused steam, I realized that I am sick of all this.
Sick of feeling so sick, when I don't even have a cold.
Sick of the humidity and the heat.
Sick of the back and forth.
It's as if the weather is serving two masters, and my poor ENT system is collateral damage.
As I stared into the bowl of hot water, I realized something sobering.
Our souls are collateral damage whenever we try to serve two masters.
Our souls were not designed to handle the pressure of shape-shifting. And yet it's become par for the course. We convince ourselves that we can serve God while trying to be "with it" so others will think well of us. We are not supposed to be of the world. Yet we are so blended in that it's impossible to tell the difference.
After a few minutes of breathing deep, an amazing thing happens:
The pressure is off.
It's as if my body has returned to the way it was designed. Our souls don't like the pressure, either. God gave them the need to breathe deep.
It's much easier to breathe deep when you're not running around frantically trying to serve two masters.
The last time I sat at the table breathing in homemade thyme-infused steam, I realized that I am sick of all this.
Sick of feeling so sick, when I don't even have a cold.
Sick of the humidity and the heat.
Sick of the back and forth.
It's as if the weather is serving two masters, and my poor ENT system is collateral damage.
As I stared into the bowl of hot water, I realized something sobering.
Our souls are collateral damage whenever we try to serve two masters.
Our souls were not designed to handle the pressure of shape-shifting. And yet it's become par for the course. We convince ourselves that we can serve God while trying to be "with it" so others will think well of us. We are not supposed to be of the world. Yet we are so blended in that it's impossible to tell the difference.
After a few minutes of breathing deep, an amazing thing happens:
The pressure is off.
It's as if my body has returned to the way it was designed. Our souls don't like the pressure, either. God gave them the need to breathe deep.
It's much easier to breathe deep when you're not running around frantically trying to serve two masters.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Reality: the opposite of backwards
I'm off this week, so I've been trying to get into project mode. I wanted to make another apron and prayer cap. This morning I opened my sewing box only to discover I needed more needles for the sewing machine. It was raining hard, so I wasn't in any mood to go to the fabric store. I knew I wouldn't have another chance to get to the store before Friday.
In spite of the fact that my sewing machine was out of commission, I wanted to sew. I knew this wasn't impatience talking. It was something else.
So I did something that most people would say is crazy.
I made an entire prayer cap by hand.
To most people, this may be the craziest, most backwards thing a person could choose to do. I'm sure most people reading my blog would say I'm completely backwards and out of touch with reality to be choosing such a life. And I would have to respectfully but firmly disagree. Hear me when I say this:
Americans are consumed by things that put us out of touch with reality.
We can buy whatever we want whenever we want it. Most people don't have the faintest idea where their possessions came from, or how they were made, or whether the people who made them got a fair wage and decent working conditions.
Like Eve, we are getting everything we want. And it's destroying us.
As I sat stitching my prayer cap by hand, I realized something.
This IS the reality for most of the world today. This WAS the reality in America for hundreds of years before the sewing machine was invented.
And it's the complete opposite of backwards.
In spite of the fact that my sewing machine was out of commission, I wanted to sew. I knew this wasn't impatience talking. It was something else.
So I did something that most people would say is crazy.
I made an entire prayer cap by hand.
To most people, this may be the craziest, most backwards thing a person could choose to do. I'm sure most people reading my blog would say I'm completely backwards and out of touch with reality to be choosing such a life. And I would have to respectfully but firmly disagree. Hear me when I say this:
Americans are consumed by things that put us out of touch with reality.
We can buy whatever we want whenever we want it. Most people don't have the faintest idea where their possessions came from, or how they were made, or whether the people who made them got a fair wage and decent working conditions.
Like Eve, we are getting everything we want. And it's destroying us.
As I sat stitching my prayer cap by hand, I realized something.
This IS the reality for most of the world today. This WAS the reality in America for hundreds of years before the sewing machine was invented.
And it's the complete opposite of backwards.
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