I'm
really trying hard to not complain about things that, in the grand
scheme of things, don't really matter. But what happened today does
not fit that description by any means. I am so hurt and horrified by
what happened today. And I was even more horrified when some of you
mentioned on Facebook that you'd had similar experiences.
I
was at the Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble. As the cashier was
ringing up my coffee, she asked if I wanted to purchase any gift
cards. When I told her “no thanks”, she then asked if I wanted
to purchase one of the books on the counter, explaining that the
proceeds from those books went toward providing books for
disadvantaged children. Had money allowed, I would have happily
purchased ten of those books. But it just wasn't in the budget this
time around, so I gave another polite “No, thanks.”
I
have never experienced anything like what happened next. She asked
me if I was serious, and how could I be so selfish. At the time I
couldn't do anything other than pick up my coffee without saying a
word and just walking over to an empty table. I was in too much
shock and I had too much other stuff on my mind to really process it.
But
now it's several hours after the fact, and I want to share what I
wish I'd have been able to say to her:
“You
met me five minutes ago. You don't know anything about me. You
don't know that I've been to hell and back. You don't know all the
choices I've made in my life. I've made some stupid ones, but I've
also made some incredibly selfless ones. If I say I can't afford a
book right now, you have no business calling me a liar. I have been
in your life for exactly five minutes, if that. If you are a
Christian, your behavior today is a stain on the honor of what it
means to represent Christ. I suggest you reread the story about the
widow and the copper coins.
Since
you clearly had nothing nice to say, the nicest thing you could have
done was shut up.”
And
the thing that really pisses me off is, I can be plenty judgmental.
So if someone is judgmental enough to make me look good, I don't know
what that says about them. We really need to stop judging people.
I'm saying this to myself as much as anyone else.
And
if we slip up and judge someone, let's at least have the common sense
not to let it come out of our mouths.
